I wanted to warn her. I said ok well I dont need this. I move in with my sister. As I want alls along. But I love my baby so much. Like all and everything I read happened.. All of it . Its funny how everyone who meets him thinks he is gay. They seek to control you and destroy what?? I must admit the bit about I was 95% responsible for the abuse hurt me, as did the she is normal comment, but this is just more of the same when he is in hating mode. Run a million miles from these people. I really liked this guy so I said. I have tried it all; the discards, the triangulation, the gas lightning, the stalking, the projections, him getting almost violent.. I sure would love to know either way. ( there is a difference between these two disorders ). Women narcissists are more dangerous and devious than males. the last thing you want is to be listening to another Narc for a prolonged period of time. I changed my number immediately. The abuse continues for years. He told me he was 27. Fortunately I was able to use this information and apply it to my situation. My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. They are here to kill, steal and destroy and sadly, we are the ones left broken hearted (because we are good hearted people) and trying to pick up the pieces of our lives. Do Not Put Off Leaving. But its so hard and I really dont want to. I used to write her every now and than, but now I really want to email her one last time since she is giving me the silent treatment. he threatens to not take our son now 9 months at weekends for me to work. Thank you Dr.chamberc for what you did. My discovery about her affair was like her ticket or rather her way of telling me she no longer was in love with me after 14 years of marriage. I also stopped going to the support group we both attended (and where I met him its his hunting ground.). I live in the condo I bought (and he lived in for 3 years rent free). Maybe she will strive for happiness, and leave her drug alone? Once theyve devalued you enough, they have no further use for you and finally discard you. He still sends a message here and there to check the waters. There's no room for negotiation in their minds. They see him clearly now. Weve gone through this a few times and now that he lives here it makes it a million times harder to get him out. Well after I attempted to expose him, he became quite abusive verbally. Reading Suggestion: 11 Typical Examples of Narcissist text Messages. Narcissists will try to take revenge on their partners by hurting them in some way after a breakup, even if it's just emotional pain they're causing or making you feel guilty for leaving them. God will help you. Thanks for the great insight, Its been three painful years breaking up from an extremely abusive relationship. She realized that it was her dad. I could be sleeping on the couch with the dog the dog was on the couch?! So I told her Im moving out after one of her big wobbly. Hes been getting away with his behavior for so long, but now my kids see it also and they are back in my life again and for what it is worth; this is an experience. If you're married or have any joint belongings, experts recommend hiring a lawyer who has handled divorce cases involving narcissistic spouses. Then he yelled at me when I called him after I had messaged him a bunch of times. After baby was born, she instantly started using the child as a weapon against our son. Bring sunshine into your life and be hopeful everything will clear up. To try to fix this. His soil is toxic And polluted over the years . During a separation from me ( there has been many) he can have this type of supply for about a week, then becomes irrational, angers easily and seeks only me . After 9 month of nocontact I sent him an email reqesting to talk. This is when theyll pursue you, saying that you were good together and they dont even know why you two broke up in the first place. I think a lot of younger women get in relationships with older narcissistic men because many of them look younger than their age and many, my friend in particular lies about his age. And see so many messages sexual talking to men about how he wants to have sex with them. We dated regularly for five years and then married. I told her I thought she was a narcissist after all of the behavior and reading it up online and talking to friends that are psych majors. In any case, you need help to decide what to do. Those high in narcissistic admiration, on the other hand, seemed to be buffered from experiencing these types of negative emotions. This is only the tip of the iceberg! He was always watching p**n when not at work or when interacting with family and friends. My needs came second to theirs & could be quite demand like a spoilt child. We both thought it was a little creepy. I needed him back desperately because i loved him so much. Im so sorry this happened to youand I cant imagine the angst you must feel. Which he took me to to wow you pull you in. So. So finally given my religious views, (yes I know sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) I decided that I would keep the baby and not terminate. I have to say I managed to pick myself up and accomplish everything I set out to do. We also found that breakups may be tough for those who are high in narcissistic rivalry. He said some hurtful things and when I said he was been cruel, he replied as I am a very honest person, it is just the truth. Narcissistic personality disorder to be correct. Along with his physical abuse. Only add 1 more N to that list as far as dating one, and add another 1 for that would be my own mother, who has been the easiest for me to go NC with. Thankfully I was strong; he already has one former girlfriend, who was not stable herself, in a grave from suicide. All of them are horrible, strangely very predicable once you begin to read about predators they follow distinct patterns of repeating & escalating abuse. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. My roommate said he seemed a bit odd. I want nothing more than to stop the abuse and the continual court cases. The affair was perfectly carried out and by all means no trail was left to trace. I think its done for me now And I feel like I need him. I know that the pic is innocent and that it was when she left me.. but I feel guilty for not telling her and I have started to blame myself that its all my fault. Best way out after goin back to him 12 times was an avo after he hit me. I filed for divorce on 3/13. Very dependent on others. in my time of recovery from my N, I have discovered that this behavior is sometimes handed down from the mother who may also have those same N behavior patterns. I think you already know all of this, you are just afraid and hurt. I agreed to see him Valentines weekend. The drug that shes using is just as worse as alcohol, weed, cocaine, heroin, ext. All the best. And if so has he ever tried to use them to gain access back into your life once you left for good? Please do everything you can to go no contact. Then I find out hes married. Im running out of ways to win. are predators. And I have been begging. Shes with him now on visitation for Christmas this,year. He keeps all of his associations separate, disappears with no explanation, and lies lies lies! About how he was sick and. Here is the final word I am now 76 years old and still working as a nurse part time to survive. Found Acyclovir in his suitcase I discovered it by chance when he was up and down to the toilet all night and saw his sores down below the shock!! She told my best friend that I might as well stay gone because no one is going to help me when the baby comes. We talk about lot of scientific and pseudo classifications in terms of narcissist-sociopathic inflictions , however we often fail to introspect. You deserve respect and true love!!! Karen .every detail of your story is almost exactly like mine.25 long lonely hurtful and degrading years I was married to a man who showed no concern for my well being .after he left me for the 3rd affair I chose not to take him back..my god the night mare of divorce .my eldest son was completely brainwashed as were friends and family.my eldest daughter and youngest son stayed by my side.the worst part of my story is after suffering such torment through those years you would think I would recognise the signs of an abusive man.I ended up jumping from the frying pan into the fire and had a 5 year on and off relationship with a man who in many ways was more emotional abusive than my ex husband.these type of men pray on woman freshly separated or divorced.I see now how vitally important it is to find the strength and take as much as is needed to receive professional help.so as to reflect and heal before contemplating any relationship .my involvement with these 2 men almost killed me by my own hand.my self esteem self worthmy identity were crushed I was stumbling through life numbing the confusion and shame that was inflicted on me day in and day out by these men with drugs and alcohol.I am now well on the way to recovery.for the first time in over 30 years I can look myself in a mirror and say I am proud of me and this is my life to live my son now speaks to me.it has been a long hard journey for not just me but my children as well..I am proud to say they are all loving and well adjusted adults now.I may be 50 this year but this is the begining of my life . How To Flirt And Approach Your Gym Crush? I found out that he had had a girlfriend all the time (different ones) and I found out that he had also started having a new girl friend. She has helped alot of narcissitic abuse victims. I have friends that are stuck with man like this for years. She managed to turn all my family (who happen to not even have known her very well) against me, I lost them all, but had to get out at all cost if not for my great friends and support at the community church I would have lost the battle in this world for good Guess what, after 3 years she now contacted me again, I feel desperate to go fix things, but that will land me back in a world of pain and of course, she used my sister to get hold of me again, and apparently they are best friends. Later that same month he did not come home and called me that he wanted a divorce, I asked what I did wrong to deserve this from him, everything he was saying he wants a divorce that hates me and does not want To see me again in His life, I was crazy and also frustrated I do not know what to do, I was sick for more than 2 weeks due to divorce. I than left, and he started full pursuit again. One day he was standing in my house when the power company was outside my house and turned off my lights. With this new guy he loves and knows all about him he says. He did try and tell me he misses me but due to my love for him he sucked me in with his web of lies. All during the relationship, he has accused me of cheating and lying when I have done no such thing. Do the right thing and look after her. why do they talk about exs so much and compare you to them? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. I thought to share with her so we can work on it together. I worry about the amour of information online about narcissism. I know what its like to live with someone with NPD, its awful! Unfortunately we are all going to have to deal with this gal for the next 18 years if we want our grandson in our lives, we have no idea how to accomplish this on a regular basis? Still begging her to contact me whenever she feels ready. It was a horrible split-up.I ignored him, totally..but he wouldnt stop..and still continues to this day.I should have known something was way wrong with him in the very beginning, he always spoke of how he was getting DSS to investigate some old GF..always hurting someone, because they had to levae his abusive ass! Narcissists are irresistibly charming and charismatic at the start of the relationship. Thank you for your post! that is the true way to dignity, healing, inner peace and ultimately genuine, long-lasting happiness. 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